"Carl is upstairs? Oh, I meant my Uncle Carl...Junior."
"That book made me want to stick a poker in my eye."
"Oh really...it's my favorite book." LOL
"Maybe you like tragedies so much because they make your life look so happy."
"Their friendship was like Scarlett O'Hara's and Melanie's would have been like, if Scarlett was nice."
"I read that movie. I mean, I watched that book."
"I didn't read the instructions that came with the pineapple."